Zugschwang - "a compulsion to move"

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Ugly Berto

I just realized that I could be the male counterpart of Ugly Betty. As of the moment, I have zero social contact outside of work. Don't get me wrong I do have friends here, its just that I haven't exerted any effort in getting in touch with any of them. My bassist, Dokta T (Doctor T), went to Germany on a business trip which means the weekly band practice/occasional gig is out. So my routine is literally work-house-cook-clean-eat-sleep just add grocery and that would be my weekends.

Both my ladies (wife and baby) went to manila and left me home alone.. yet again. Depression is something that is inevitable, I haven't blogged and I don't want to do anything.. not even chant. Being with friends don't help either, It's one of those things that I go through alone (depression).

Depression is the winter season of my moods. Buddhist text's describe hell as a living condition or a state-of-life rather than one of 2 destination in the afterlife. Being depressed is being in Hell. I have always been to one who sees most things half full, being with my wife has gradually eroded that view.

Buddhist teaching does not dismiss that material things do bring temporary happiness into ones life. I was desperate, happiness is happiness fleeting or not. So that's what I did, I bought some stuff to tinker and fiddle with to keep me busy/productive enough to slightly de-rail my depressed state. And NO its not a Guadalajara poncho. :)

I think I've managed to snap out of my deppressed state just recently. Happiness is infectious, by surfing for porn I've managed to have 1 part of my body happy and I know that the feeling will spread. See ! I even have my humor back hehehe... from religion to porn now that's talent !

I have been reading up on a couple of things recently, I try to pace myself this time. I'm quite the zealot when I'm into something. Some call it passion. I just hope I don't burn out this time.

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Check out this guy.. they call him the "Polaroid Kid"

http://www.popphoto.com/photographynewswire/4376/the-polaroid-kidd.html

His work

http://svr84.ehostpros.com/~plrds84/adc0.htm

It only goes to show you that, even best sword at the hands of a coward is useless. Equipment should be the means to an end, and not the END itself.