Zugschwang - "a compulsion to move"

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Ugly Berto

I just realized that I could be the male counterpart of Ugly Betty. As of the moment, I have zero social contact outside of work. Don't get me wrong I do have friends here, its just that I haven't exerted any effort in getting in touch with any of them. My bassist, Dokta T (Doctor T), went to Germany on a business trip which means the weekly band practice/occasional gig is out. So my routine is literally work-house-cook-clean-eat-sleep just add grocery and that would be my weekends.

Both my ladies (wife and baby) went to manila and left me home alone.. yet again. Depression is something that is inevitable, I haven't blogged and I don't want to do anything.. not even chant. Being with friends don't help either, It's one of those things that I go through alone (depression).

Depression is the winter season of my moods. Buddhist text's describe hell as a living condition or a state-of-life rather than one of 2 destination in the afterlife. Being depressed is being in Hell. I have always been to one who sees most things half full, being with my wife has gradually eroded that view.

Buddhist teaching does not dismiss that material things do bring temporary happiness into ones life. I was desperate, happiness is happiness fleeting or not. So that's what I did, I bought some stuff to tinker and fiddle with to keep me busy/productive enough to slightly de-rail my depressed state. And NO its not a Guadalajara poncho. :)

I think I've managed to snap out of my deppressed state just recently. Happiness is infectious, by surfing for porn I've managed to have 1 part of my body happy and I know that the feeling will spread. See ! I even have my humor back hehehe... from religion to porn now that's talent !

I have been reading up on a couple of things recently, I try to pace myself this time. I'm quite the zealot when I'm into something. Some call it passion. I just hope I don't burn out this time.


Check out this guy.. they call him the "Polaroid Kid"


His work


It only goes to show you that, even best sword at the hands of a coward is useless. Equipment should be the means to an end, and not the END itself.


  • At 3:30 AM, Blogger Char said…

    Gusto ko din ng cluster map! Hey you, log in ka sa multiply, i have pics of your wife! Don't worry, she hasn't forgotten you yet, hehehe. Smile, pare! I haven't seen Raya yet, sa birthday na lang niya. Cheer up! There is always porn. Hey, nanunuod ka talaga ng Ugly Betty ha... you know about the poncho. hahaha! Sobrang crush ko yung accountant nila Betty from the other floor. hahaha.

  • At 11:12 PM, Blogger abssss said…

    You know what, i was feeling depressed last week and I bought porn. It was in a public place (read: Quaipo). I never had the courage to do something like that, not until recently. I was afraid the vendor will look at me and judge me. Honestly, it took the depression away.

  • At 11:04 AM, Blogger Senorito<- Ako said…

    abss -> we might be onto something here. :)

    char -> here in nz (and oz i think) there've been issues about PM's going to strip clubs and whatnots =)

  • At 5:57 PM, Blogger Senor Enrique said…

    Merry Christmas!

    So who does the laundry?

  • At 11:41 AM, Blogger BNY said…

    Maybe this guy will cheer you up ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESM_mAcyUU

  • At 9:38 AM, Blogger BNY said…

    Awaiting updates on your life ...

    Just an FYI ... ;)


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