Zugschwang - "a compulsion to move"

Sunday, December 31, 2006

I'm Living 2k7 !

I just woke up.

The last time that I was awake was 1992, first days in college. If there's one person who can be a poster boy for "delaying gratification" its me.

I told myself, I'll enjoy myself after college... that was 1992. I was basically a zombie from thereon.

5 years went fast, got my education, now what ? life still sucks.. hmmm maybe enjoy myself when I'm paid better. I need to find me a job now.

Found work in the manufacturing field wasn't happy another year wasted. Shifted to IT (still in IT).

Worked, worked and worked add another 8 years... pay did get better. Life still sucks, maybe if I immigrate and earn me some dollars... maybe then, I'd enjoy myself.

Waitaminute... that sounds familiar. Somethings not right.

I was thinking, I need to buy a house... when that's all fully paid maybe then I'll enjoy myself. Basing from the predictable thinking pattern that I have I'll probably think... X years (post house payment blues) from now when the house is fully paid, I then need to secure our retirement THEN I'll enjoy myself. How old will I be then ?? Geez... that's probably how they came up with "life begins at 40".

Konsensya: "Ei bro, you think this is Mid life crisis ?"


15 years, from 1992 up until tommorow it's "2 fuckin-K 7" already. Where did the years go ?? I was worried and pre-occupied about the future I forgot about NOW.

15 years geez, I was just going through the motions, nothing spontaneous.. just betting on the predictable and sure “llamado” side of it all. If not for my wife it would have been a solid 15 year rewardless chunk of my life. Thanks, you are my good karma!

Now I have a beautiful 1 year old who is tugging my shirt in one hand and waving the brown bear book on the other.

New years resolutions (NYR) are for WIMPS.

I have been crying when watching movies lately, I guess I now qualify as wimpy... geez I used to be a tough Quiapo kid. Too much estrogen flowing in me, must layoff of soy products.

I've reached nancy-boy-state already so I guess I need to make a NYR.

"I'll try to enjoy life in the NOW state, I'll start with 2K7. "

Excuse me people, I think I need to dance with my baby girl and oh Happy new year !

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