Zugschwang - "a compulsion to move"

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Back again

Back again

It's been a while since my last blog entry. Pre-occupied with my job, finally grasped how object oriented database design stitch their data together. I best stop here as I've so far successfully avoided blogging anything technical.

What have I been upto ? Mostly photography. Very few can claim to have read more books on photoshop last year than me. My pictures have been technically sound but I need to bump up the artistic and emotional impact side of it.


Everybody's on facebook/myspace/bebo nowadays and I'm still stuck with the obtuse friendster ! :) I've been browsing pictures of friends in college, highschool and childhood friends, the invevitable nostalgic feeling came over me. Flash back of past events all sepia/cibachrome toned ! :)

If theres one thing I regretted is I did not make too much of an effort to keep in touch with my friends. Overtime the "friendship" status demotes itself to a mere "acquaintance".

I have no excuse for it really, I kinda envy my wife and sister or women in general as they tend to nurture friendship better than guys. When women get together they usually have a lengthy dinner and coffee afterwards.

Me and My friends ? We grab a quick bite to eat and proceed to strip clubs. Then meet up on the next day for some hangover basketball. 

Add the meaningless get together with my tendency to drift away and you get to this blog entry of mine which is all about regret. You see, I am easily consumed by a hobby. Be it Guitars, photography, tropical fish acquarium, Feng shui. I can somehow channel all my brain cell and allocate all of my conscious time thinking about it. In short, I can easily disconnect and entertain myself.

Which I think is a good trait to have when your an immigrant, as you don't have any relatives and only a handful of social duties to attend to.

Is it too late and am I physically too far to catch up with my friends ?

I do miss them. (No song coming up sorry).


I think I'm less funny now. I guess there is less effort from me to be so. I feel like I don't need to impress people as I did before. It probably has something to do with manila's overpopulation and the need to stand out in some ways.

I wasn't rich, not good looking either. 2nd looks from the opposite sex is far and very very few in-between. Humor was my ticket. I guess people do change.. I did.

It's good to be blogging again.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Before I forget...

I'll jot down stuff that matters to me.

Being a dad:
I remember waking up because I felt something lightly banging on my forehead. Turns out, It was Raya giving me kisses, she couldn't control her back muscles yet hence her giving me a headbutting kisses.

Watching her learn, progress is both joyous and sad. Joyous because like any other parent, I'm happy to see her grow up. Sad because as time passes, her baby-likeness gradually fades. She's a "little girl" now as supposed to my little crawling baby.

I actually like being a dad. Ofcourse its not easy and it is challenging for the most part of it. But it does bring a different kind of hapiness, one that can't be bought. I won't repeat what other parents before me have stated. There is a definite joy to being a parent.

I'm just happy to have captured lots of pictures of her and my wife during these times. Oh I took up photography as well.

She likes wearing her bestidas (dresses) and say : "Look at me I'm a princess fairy !". Even on cold nights she sometimes refuse to wear her fleeced shirts and pants and would rather wear her "princess dress" :)

Just last-last week she was telling us. "I want a baby sister."

We'd ask her: "Do you know what a baby sister is ?"

She'd reply : " I want a baby brother"

We'd ask again : "What do you like better ? A baby sister, a baby brother or a chocolate cookie ?"

Obviously she chose the cookie :)

How time flies:
Its been almost 3 years since I left manila for wellington. That means I havent seen both my parents and siblings for a while.

I'm ok here Ma... I'd even say that I'm happy. :)

I like the weather here, the people in general are pleasant. My super oily skin has some benefit as it turns out, during winter some people would put lotion in their faces. I never have to :)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Ugly Berto

I just realized that I could be the male counterpart of Ugly Betty. As of the moment, I have zero social contact outside of work. Don't get me wrong I do have friends here, its just that I haven't exerted any effort in getting in touch with any of them. My bassist, Dokta T (Doctor T), went to Germany on a business trip which means the weekly band practice/occasional gig is out. So my routine is literally work-house-cook-clean-eat-sleep just add grocery and that would be my weekends.

Both my ladies (wife and baby) went to manila and left me home alone.. yet again. Depression is something that is inevitable, I haven't blogged and I don't want to do anything.. not even chant. Being with friends don't help either, It's one of those things that I go through alone (depression).

Depression is the winter season of my moods. Buddhist text's describe hell as a living condition or a state-of-life rather than one of 2 destination in the afterlife. Being depressed is being in Hell. I have always been to one who sees most things half full, being with my wife has gradually eroded that view.

Buddhist teaching does not dismiss that material things do bring temporary happiness into ones life. I was desperate, happiness is happiness fleeting or not. So that's what I did, I bought some stuff to tinker and fiddle with to keep me busy/productive enough to slightly de-rail my depressed state. And NO its not a Guadalajara poncho. :)

I think I've managed to snap out of my deppressed state just recently. Happiness is infectious, by surfing for porn I've managed to have 1 part of my body happy and I know that the feeling will spread. See ! I even have my humor back hehehe... from religion to porn now that's talent !

I have been reading up on a couple of things recently, I try to pace myself this time. I'm quite the zealot when I'm into something. Some call it passion. I just hope I don't burn out this time.


Check out this guy.. they call him the "Polaroid Kid"


His work


It only goes to show you that, even best sword at the hands of a coward is useless. Equipment should be the means to an end, and not the END itself.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Adobo Identity at Kulturang Pinoy

I love cooking Adobo. I don't mind that it fills the house with its scent, how it stubbornly clings to my clothes. The scent somehow find its way to some part of my brain and tricks it into thinking that I'm just in Manila. It makes me feel that my parents and siblings is just in the other room watching TV. It comforts me that way.

Everybody has their own recipe for Adobo. Different meats, different parts and different ratios of ingridients. My "Ate Karori" likes using chicken wings not much vinegar. My wife uses lots of vinegar. My adobo always uses lily flower (dahon ng saging ?), bay leaves, garlic, ground pepper and almost exclusively chicken thigh.

My mom is the only person I know who successfully jazzed up adobo. She uses pork (liempo) and hibi (small dried shrimps) with sesame oil, she usually cooks for my grandmother on sundays. It's a knockout dish.

Inspired by Ma, I will be embarking on jazzing up my own Adobo Identity. Yesterday I tried using red wine vinegar instead of white. Had I have short term memory disorder, I wouldn't have recognized it as my own cooking. Next on my list would be to experiment with different meats, soy sauce.


Minsan ay kailangan mong lumayo para makita at maintindihan ang kabuohang anyo at pulso ng ating kultura. Natatandaan ko nuong ako'y nasa Maynila pa, hindi ko binibigyang pansin at halaga ang ating tradisyonal na okasyon gaya ng Flores de Mayo, Mahal na Araw, kapaskuhan, bagong taon at ang mga katangi-tanging Pista sa kani-kaniyang siyudad/kabayanan/probinsya.

Gawa na siguro nang malakas impluwensya ng mga bayan sa kanlurang bahagi ng mundo, ang ingles na linguahe bilang behikulo sa ating edukasyon. At ang mas malawakang pag gamit ng ingles sa pahayagan, radyo at telebisyon. Gawa ng mga nabanggit, mas pinupuna ko ang kulturang ibayo, kulturang hindi atin.

Magaling kasing mag hikayat ang kanluran, karamihan sa atin any napa-paniwala nila na mas maganda, makulay at masaya ang kanilang kultura at pamumuhay.

Tayo ay natatakam sa kanilang prutas gaya ng peaches, pears, plums, nectarin, cherries. Kinakailangan pang dumayo sa Ongpin o sa supermarket para makabili ng (napaka-mamahal) mga nasabing prutas.

Tayo'y nabibighani sa kulay ng kanilang buhok na kakulay ng araw, mga nagta-tangus-ang mga ilong at maninipis na labi.

Mahigit kumulang isang taon na akong nagtratrabaho, nakikihalubilo, nakikibagay at nakikiisa dito sa New Zealand. Aming nasaksihan ang iba't ibang paraan na pagbigay buhay sa kanilang kasaysayan. Nariyan ang kanilang Guy Fawkes day, Queens Birthday at Parada ng kanilang siyudad.

Ang mga sumusunod ay aking mga personal na opinyon. Sana ay hindi bansagang marahas ang aking pananaw.

Kung aking ikukumpara ang kanilang Guy Fawkes day at ang ating Bagong taon, Pista ng Nazareno sa Parada nila dito eh hindi ko maiwasang bitiwan ang salitang "Malabnaw". Hindi ko maituro kung alin o bakit, pero meroong nagkulang. Sabi nga sa alak eh parang nagkulang sa sipa.

Oo, hindi ko ikakaila na "lubhang" mas mataas na antas ng pamumuhay, mas maayos na serbisyo at pagpapatakbo mula gobyreno, at ang mga inprastrakturang iyong maa-asahan. Pero hindi ito ang pakay nang aking sanaysay.

Ako'y magiging tapat sa sarile, sa aking panlasa eh walang nang tatalo sa sarap at tamis ng ating pambansang prutas. Ang Mangga (bow). Ang kanilang alimango dito ay malaki nang bahagya lamang sa alimasag. Kulang sa tamis ang kanyang kalamnan.

Hindi ko rin ikakaila na mas gusto ko ang mga ka-isdaan nila dito. Mas gusto ko rin ang klima at kalinisan ng hangin dito. Ang mga kabataan dito ay magalang at matulungin, tila wala silang tukso ukol sa kaanyuhan ng kapwa (payat, mataba at kapansanan).

Karamihan sa kanila ay matatangkad ngunit ang uri ng kanilang buhok ay manipis, mukhang marupok at parang lanta. Ang atin nama'y puno nang sigla, makintab na tila'y bumagabay sa ating pala-ngiting pananaw sa buhay.

Kid Sablay: Mabuhay ang mga pango !
Kid Sablay: Mabuhay makakapal ang labi !
Kid Sablay: Mabuhay ang mga tadtad ng tigyawat (taghiyawat) !
Kid Sablay: Mabu...
Senorito : Konting katahimikaaaan !! (Sabay hampas ng kamay sa hapag )

Sa Susunod na kabanata: Baluktot na pananaw

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Things I hate, Things I love

I hate the Late show with David Letterman.

I wonder why sometimes I even bother to watch. I swear the laughs that he gets are sympathy ones. Or people forcing themselves to laugh because Letterman was delivering it. It's like teachers (sa pinas) giving better grades to "top" students not because of content/substance but rather by reputation. I don't get it really.

Dave's smile is another thing.. so unsincere. I'd rather watch Oskee Salazars (Cine Silip) cemented smiles.

The top ten list ?? Corny as hell..

Paul Shaffer is another reason. Now if I could just pry his lips off of Lettermans ass. Desperate attempts to save Dave from a bad joke, I can understand. Butting-in on the good one's with unintelligible ramblings I don't get.

I hate cooking shows that does desserts and pastries. I hate sweets.

I love Conan O'Brien

On-the-fly/spot comedy almost never a dull moment with this guy. Come 2009 he'll be replacing Leno as host of the tonight show, a very worthy successor indeed. Too bad he's not aired here in NZ.

I fondly remember the episode where Rebecca Romjin-Stamos guested. :) Conan greeted her and began the interview, and when it got to the part about Rebecca and Stamos's relationship bit. Conan without a word, stood up went in front of his desk and shouted simultaneously kneeling "STAAAAAMOOOOSSSSS..." (lasted 30 seconds i think) in a foiled-evil-villain tone.

I love the Food TV channel (period).

I am starting to become a serious foodie. I am able to replicate my Mom's cooking (and better, much better). Which helps with the homesickness part.

Ma's cooking lessons was aimed at my sister but she'd rather watch those brain-cell deadening gossip shows on sunday afternoons. And those verbal cooking lessons one-by-one unravelled themselves here in wellington.

I love Gordon Ramsay's "Kitchen Nightmare"

I just love watching failure-to-success stories. Watching something that is falling apart and being able to give it a 180 degree twist just gives me a natural high.

One of the reasons why I love tuning databases, something that takes 8-10 hrs to finish with some fiddling becomes a 1 hr and 6 minutes thing, makes me want to run out and shout "I'm the king of the world" in my underwear every fucking time !

I love Ramsay's character and his "if it's worth doing then it's worth doing right" attitude. He's like the Chef version of Tony Montana (Pacino's character in Scarface), always with the F word.

He gets the point across in a very abbrassive manner. If his jarring words and phrasing doesn't get to you then I don't know anything that will. I've seen him break a michellin star chef's ego, no.. shattered is the word.

I love Cook like a Chef

So informative, I'm picking up tons of techniques and insights as to why professional chef's do it the way they do.

I love cooking meat, I will NEVER BE A VEGETARIANISSIMOSKY (made that one up). I am in a trance when people cook slabs and slabs of meat. I love the roasting episode of this show. The chef roasted different meats 9 different ways. And the larding of the meats.. beautiful!

I love Giada De Laurentiis

She's gorgeous ,she cooks and she has lovely teeth. 5 stars in my book ! My wife should SERIOUSLY consider being jealous. She knows I hate/abhor sweets. But when Giada makes it, I watch.

The filipino term "nakakapa-nginig ng laman" applies here. My body temperature rises when I see her.

Giada on TV: "I love making desserts"
I blurt out: "Me too"

Wife ignores but raises one eyebrow

Giada on TV: "I love pouring syrup on newly roasted peaches"
I blurt out: "I'd like to pour syrup on (your) peaches too.."

Wife still ignores but raises 2 eyebrows

Giada on TV: ".. roll the lemon to get more juice out of it.."
I blurt out: "I'd like to roll with you and make juice too."

Wifey looks my way, and laughs.

I'm seriously thinking of doing a Borat Sagidev on Giada. It would be worth it. Let me end this post before I get subpeona'd.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Pluto's pain, Mickey is KING

Due to my baby girl's hogging the Telly (TV), I've no choice but to watch cartoons with her.

* Ever wondered why of all animals there's a majority of "el Pato" characters there ? ( Huey, dewey and louie )

This is where Hefner (Hugh) gets it wrong.

Rabbits ain't horny. Ducks are ! What happens if you have a pantless-duck in a sailor suit run freely ? You get more "El Pato" characters in the show that's what.

* Ever wondered why the rodent Mickey is king of the bunch ?? huh ? ever wondered ?

He's the first one to get it right. PANTS ! The others run freely in full commando mode.

Come to think of it, if we live in a pantless world honesty will be more apparent. Women would know if a guy finds her attractive, he'd give her his "full attention". You'd know which person is cold or in-heat.

* Heir Apparent

He might look and sound goofy but he's next in line. After the rodent king comes the alpha male Goof. He has a hat, gloves, shirt plus vest and the ever essential PANTS ! Or he could just be OC.

If anything happens to the rat then then this dog takes over.

* Pluto's pain

My heart ache's for this mutt. He probably has an extra chromosome or two. Unlike goof he's barenaked, can't speak, chases his own tail. And to add insult to injury he's "the" pet of king rodent.

There we have it, my useless pontification of things that never mattered.


Sunday, December 31, 2006

I'm Living 2k7 !

I just woke up.

The last time that I was awake was 1992, first days in college. If there's one person who can be a poster boy for "delaying gratification" its me.

I told myself, I'll enjoy myself after college... that was 1992. I was basically a zombie from thereon.

5 years went fast, got my education, now what ? life still sucks.. hmmm maybe enjoy myself when I'm paid better. I need to find me a job now.

Found work in the manufacturing field wasn't happy another year wasted. Shifted to IT (still in IT).

Worked, worked and worked add another 8 years... pay did get better. Life still sucks, maybe if I immigrate and earn me some dollars... maybe then, I'd enjoy myself.

Waitaminute... that sounds familiar. Somethings not right.

I was thinking, I need to buy a house... when that's all fully paid maybe then I'll enjoy myself. Basing from the predictable thinking pattern that I have I'll probably think... X years (post house payment blues) from now when the house is fully paid, I then need to secure our retirement THEN I'll enjoy myself. How old will I be then ?? Geez... that's probably how they came up with "life begins at 40".

Konsensya: "Ei bro, you think this is Mid life crisis ?"

15 years, from 1992 up until tommorow it's "2 fuckin-K 7" already. Where did the years go ?? I was worried and pre-occupied about the future I forgot about NOW.

15 years geez, I was just going through the motions, nothing spontaneous.. just betting on the predictable and sure “llamado” side of it all. If not for my wife it would have been a solid 15 year rewardless chunk of my life. Thanks, you are my good karma!

Now I have a beautiful 1 year old who is tugging my shirt in one hand and waving the brown bear book on the other.

New years resolutions (NYR) are for WIMPS.

I have been crying when watching movies lately, I guess I now qualify as wimpy... geez I used to be a tough Quiapo kid. Too much estrogen flowing in me, must layoff of soy products.

I've reached nancy-boy-state already so I guess I need to make a NYR.

"I'll try to enjoy life in the NOW state, I'll start with 2K7. "

Excuse me people, I think I need to dance with my baby girl and oh Happy new year !


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Virtuoso (not)

Musically, I was late bloomer.

Drunken Master

If memory serves me right, the first time I held a guitar was sometime in 1994-1995. I was in my 3rd-4th year in college, during a drinking session in one of my classmate's house. My friends would take turns playing the guitar, mostly Eraserhead's tunes. Boy-o-boy, How I envied them.

I waited until everybody had a higher alcohol to conciousness ratio before attempting to pick up/play the guitar. I didn't want to be ridiculed by the 'masters'. Picked up the guitar and I tried to play the open "D" major chord that I've memorized during the earlier strumfest. I heard a voice, "you are one fret off, Do it on the 2nd fret".

Aha ! Rex was still half-concious as he intermittently tutored me that night, half of the time the alcohol took him to La-la land. That was my first guitar lesson. I felt like the Jacky Chan of guitar having a drunkard as my mentor.

Beggar Man : You want me to teach you GUITAR ? (points to red nose)
Senorito_ako : Yes, Please master teach me
Beggar Man : Alright, but you have to do what I say
Senorito_ako : Yes master, anything...

The kid

I was a fast and eager learner. In 6 months time, I was strumming as well as the next guy, I was one of 'em, that was it I knew as much as they did (which wasn't much come to think of it).

After graduation, In my first work, I met a forklift operator who knew how to transpose a song from 1 key to another. He told me about 'Family of chords'. He couldn't explain it to me (or didn't want to) but he knew when to play a Major chord to a Minor one. I was intrigued.

On my 2nd work, in an IT company, I was introduced to this wonderful thing called the Internet search engine (Yahoo, Alta Vista). Yep, my 2nd mentor was the Internet. There I found out why the chord shapes are shaped as such and the basics of western music theory.

It was during that time that I got really obsessed with the guitar. I played 2 hours/day on weekdays and 7 hours/day on a weekend. I have to admit that it did help that I had good finger motor skills.

I was hungry for influences as well, I wanted to know the who's who of guitar. From Robert Johnson,Yngwie, Pat Metheny, John Scofield, John Mclaughlin to John Petrucci (Dream Theater) and almost everything in between. Name it and I've immeresed myself into their music. It was a serious hobby, I even took lessons at RJ in Robinson's galleria.

The lessons did help. It overhauled my whole playing technique. I did lose 'the feel' in exchange for better technique.

Back in manila. Despite getting some invites to form a band, I gracefully refused.. not because I didn't want to but because commuting is difficult enough add to that I've to drag a guitar plus accessories.

Cold Turkey

After watching, John Petrucci's (Rock discipline) and Paul Gilbert's (Terrifying guitar) instructional videos, instead of getting inspired the opposite occured... I was floored. I knew then that what they can do with the guitar I will almost never come near at (FYI, neither will Santana and Clapton). I didn't touch the guitar for a month, then it became half a year and then 2 years.

I wanted out and was planning to leave all of my guitar stuff in Manila. But my wife insisted that we bring them over to wellington. She said to me playing guitar was a part of my identity, part of who I am.

Then and Now..

It recently occured to me what the root of my musical frustration stems from. I'm was never a frustrated musician but rather a frustrated virtuoso (wannabe syndrome). I have come to terms with my shortcomings and limits. Nowadays I just try to enjoy playing simple tunes with my trio (currently).

What a waste though, where/when will I get to wear my leather pants and spandex tops now ?

Who knows spinal tap ? Raise your hand ! :P


Monday, September 18, 2006

Doncha just hate..

Don't you just hate it when your-crush talks to her-crush. And he'd tell her the stupidest/corniest joke. How stupid/corny ? its enough to make Kuya Jermz look intelligent and witty. It's that bad.

And you know what's more ANNOYING ?? After their FAKE LAUGHTER dies down. A very EEERIE 2 second silence follows where they give each other the 'I-want-you' look. For fucks' sake... get a room.

Konsensya: Uuuyy... Jelly! ( Pinoy slang : "Jealous")
Senorito : Ulul

Don't you just hate it when your the last person to board a tricycle ?? And you have no choice but to sit behind the trike driver.

What's revolting is when you catch him, the Jinggoy look-a-like sporting a Noel "UNGGA" Ayala hairdo driver, scratching his armpit THEN touches his buntot (tail-like hair extension) and does it REPEATEDLY ? And coincidentally, on the hottest day of summer.

On the way (to wherever), his buntot catches my nose... I tried to avoid it by looking away and the buntot still has enough "reach" to tickle my right cheek. Uggh.

Konsensya: Moist pa ba ?
Senorito : Are you takin a piss ? (wanker)

Don't you just hate it when you look 10 years older than your age ???

A fellow employee addresses you as "Sir" and YOU-THINK they do that because your on supervisory level, straight out of college.

True story...After some small talk
Bogart : Sir, Ilan na po ba ang anak nyo ? ( He was 25 then )
Senorito : Ako wala pa.... hindi pa nga ako nag aasawa eh
Bogart : Sir Ilan taon na po ba kayo ?
Senorito : Ah kaka-21 ko pa lang ( just turned 21 last month ) nung isang bwan

Bogart with is mouth gaping open takes 2 steps backward.

Had I known that I look 10 years older, I would've watch "Adult only/R18" movies when I was 8 !

Guard : "Boy, Ilang taon ka na ?"
Senorito (8yr old): "18 na po"
Guard : "Ok, pasok"
Senorito : "Saging ni pasing.. here I come !" (Fiction ito)

Don't you just hate the general good-always-wins-over-evil storyline on most movies ? In the pinas they even throw in the 'kapupulutan ng aral' bit. It does not reflect reality.

For once I would like to see Bella Flores having the last laugh.

Allow me to pitch a quick story line:

Bella Flores : Rich wife of a senator who has a collection of 'boy toys'.
Judy Ann Santos : Saleslady of some store. The love of Piolo's life (what else is new).
Piolo Pascual: Materialistic "call boy" torn between Bella and Judy Ann.

Super-dooper Memorable ending: Bella wins... Bella offers piolo a house plus a brand new 4x4 if he agrees to a threesome with Oddette Khan. Ends with a bed/shower scene ofcourse. I'd pay good money to see this one. Now "That's entertainment".

Kuya Jermz: "Huwat a coincedeeeeeence... "

Techie rant

Don't you just hate Windows ??

I split (splat ?) my HD into 5 partitions, 4 of which is for Windows and 1 for Ubuntu linux. In one of my Windows directory (NTFS), resides the documentation for 3 DB versions... lotsa files and subdirectories. If I use my windows explorer to open that directory XP seems to hang and (for a minute) freezes the other application as well. And NO, I don't think the other application competes with I/O at the time.

Ubuntu Linux seems to handle NTFS far much better than WINDOZE ? What gives ?


Monday, August 28, 2006

Political ethics

NZ's political news

An MP helped a thai immigrant applicant on his NZ work visa in exchange of cheaper house renovation rates (re-tiling). Same MP Pocketing of 100 NZD worth of donations.

Miss Clark said it would be hard for Mr Field to continue in the job.

"It's very hard to come back from something like that because the degree of public humiliation has been pretty high," she said.

100NZD... that's not even 5000php ! Yet he's pressured to resign out of "shame".

In the Philippines:

Mass demonstration in Ayala avenue calling for the President elect to step down. People in the demonstration includes former President Corazon Aquino and some senatorial figures. I don't think PGMA would resign even if Jesus, Buddha and Allah joined the demonstration/s.

I hope that my other absurd political prediction doesn't come true. Senator Jimmy Santos.

Nobody quantifies "love" like him... not even William Shakespeare. Tell me who can beat this phrase ? "I LOVE YOU 3x a DAY".

Former action star Senator Lapid made senator, will there be a Sen. Manny Pacquiao in 15-20 years time ? Time and collective maturity will tell.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Divine comedy

"Nope, I won't be father-ing her child. Not after this" I said to myself 15 years ago.

The following is a true story.

3 Years earlier. (18 yrs ago)

My mom, bein an alumni, transfered me to this school in Tondo. That was the year 1988, I can still remember my first impressions of my new school as I took my first ten steps inside.

I said, "Wow, rubber coated floors. Rust free gates, Coke-a-cola vendo machine and a huge quadrangle to run around". This is where I'll be spending the next 4 years of my life.

"High school life, oh my high school life
ev’ry memory kay ganda
high school days, oh my high school days
are exciting kay saya" - Sharon Cuneta

First day of class.

I still remember going up the stairs to the 5th floor, looking for my new room. I entered, found a seat somewhere near the window (NAWASA dome view) and settled in. As I gave the room a quick glance, my eyes kept coming back to this girl's face. Like a compass that intuitively finds the north, my eyes always resolved to wherever she was. It was like that from my 2nd day till I graduated from HS.

I was ecstastic when I found that she was on the same afternoon class (all 4 years). That's where my luck with her ended.

Let's call her Esmeralda. She had the face on an angel, the shape of a ballerina and gracefullness of a swan.

I was a dark skinned, semi-chubby with glasses, super oily/shiny skinned kid wearing pants that was too short. And oh, I sported bad bad haircuts (Mama, why?) for 4 years. If there was one guy who knew how Quasimodo felt, twas me.

"Tale as old as time".... Naah fuck that, too dramatic.

1 of 5

I spent 1 of every 5 minutes worshipping her/ daydream on how wonderful "our life" would be after highschool. Ofcourse, none of that shit ever happened. The closes I got to that, was borrowing some Ärchie comics from her. Back then, I was wonderin if Archie was EVER going to score with either Veronica or Betty.

She was popular and I was on the opposite realm. Like the mathematical fact that goes, "If you come halfway from pt. A to pt. E and repeat it each time ( again half closer). It will get infinitely close but never intersect".

"High school love, my one high school love
not infatuation or crush
tunay ‘to, siya ang buhay ko
di n’yo lang alam ako’y nagba-blush
bakit nga ba ang first love ko
ay di serious, so it seems?
kung alam lang ng first love ko
(s)he is always in my dreams. " - Shawie (pa rin)

I find myself limbo whenever she's near. I can literally feel logic and cognitive abilities shutting down. She was like green kryptonite.. and me ? I was still Quasimodo. I recall (3rd yr HS) the time when she approached me.

Esmeralda: "Nakita mo si 'Ge' ?" (Have you seen Geraldine ?)
Senorito : "Ha ? (pauses) Hindi ako si Geraldine" (I'm not Geraldine)
Konsyensya :"What the... DUDE... minsan ka na lang kausapin saka mo papakitaan ng ka weirdo-han mo... Naman-naman tsong !"

Once upon an afternoon, Time stopped.

T'was one ordinary afternoon sprinkled with extraordinary stupidity.

I was happily chewing my gum for the first 2 afternoon subjects, the bell rang and the 2nd break for the afternoon commenced.

I wanted to throw the gum but was too lazy to stand up and throw it properly. As I spat out the gum to my hand... rolled it into a perfect circle and threw it.

The minute the gum left my hand, it decided to slightly stick to my index finger one last fucking time. Thus altering my aim and ruining my trajectory. 3 inches off my hand, I figured it could only land on 2 person. The basketball varsity or Esmeralda.

It happened fast and everything was a blur, yet metaphorically, I vividly remember every detail of it.

The varsity guy didn't make the team because of his 'basketball skills' but more for his 'court enforcement' pressence. He's a HUGE guy who can open a can-of-whoop-ass on anybody, anytime !

I was praying that it landed on Mr. Brawny but as fate would have it. It landed at the top most part of Esmeralda's head.

"Accidents can happen
and into one i'm gonna slide
there's a good chance to give my hands on a little romance
when two hearts collide " - Haven't we met ( Kenny Rankin )

Couldn't get worse you think ? You're a FOOL to underestimate my STUPIDITY... read on, FOOL.

I quickly ran over and "tried" to rectify the situation. How, you ask (FOOL) ?

Instead of just taking the gum out by cutting a small amount of hair. (Adam Sandler mode-) "I HAD TO TAKE THE ADJACENT HAIR TO COVER THE GUM UP !! WHOOPEEEDEEEDOOO EINSTEIN !! "

"Nope, I won't be father-ing her child. Not after this."

In the end, we had to cut out a huge amount of hair off of her. For 3 months she had to sport the one length/spike (very 80's) hairdo.

People would come up to her and asked what happened... she would tell the story, they would look my way and laugh.. I would close both eyes and slightly bow my head.

I can still hear their laughter to this very day.


Friday, July 21, 2006


These individuals are my personal Crazy-as-fuck Top 3 awardee.

3rd place goes to...My uncle.

He's so cheap, that when he changed the locks of the main gate of one of his apartment he didn't issue any keys to his tenants. Why ? to save money perhaps ? a trip to the local locksmith (Mr. quickie) is too troublesome ? We'll never know ( Uncle passed away ).

How did the tenants got in the bldg ? Read on.

My uncle made a looped 'alambre' string poke out of the door. All you need is to pull it and the door would open. It took him almost a month constructing the levers at the back of the door so it opens.

How did he do it ?

That's probably the reason why my uncle stood at the gate for 1 week looking at the newly installed lock. How would he be able to twist the knob from the outside and get consistent results ? He couldn't... nobody could. So what he did was dismantled the lock casing exposing the inner workings of the lock. There, he saw a small lever that needed a simple pull and.. WALAH... door opens.

Wouldnt it would be cheaper just to leave the broken lock ? I mean sure.. the lock works. It takes no Einstein to figure out how a tenant would simply pull an out-of-place string on the door to enter the building.

You see my uncle was financially well off.... he needn't work to earn. Too much idle time and too much McGyver reruns/too much Mang Tomas (same themesong).

Another thing about him is he's smart, but thinks that EVERYBODY around him are idiots (he's probably 99% accurate.. a daughter of his is Suma or Magna-cum-laude). He even designed and made his own golf trolley out of aluminum pipings and pram (baby trolley) wheels. Coz he believes that he can make a lighter golf trolley model... and he did. Maybe the lechon sauce did work.

Back to the door. It's like having this super duper hi-tech 3-ton door with all of the modern security whizbang encryption only to have the password spray painted on the door itself.

2nd place goes to.... Mike Brown (Dancing bodybuilder, Author and Visionary).

I've several links to his site so you guys know that I'm not makin stuff up.


Too lazy to read through his posts ? Here's some appetizer.

Dancing bodybuilder

"Fish that have fins and scales have a filtering mechanism to keep impurities out of the meat. Those that don't have fins and scales don't have this filtering mechanism. Going one step further, lobster and shrimp are the cockroaches of the oceans. Without them, there'd be miles of muck on the ocean floor.

Never heard any of this before? It's in one of the most published books on earth. Most people have a copy, or easy access to one. Few ever read or apply it. It's the Bible. The clean and unclean food descriptions (but not the scientific reasoning) are found in Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14. Try it for 60 days and see for yourself. "

This guy actually wrote a book...

Sex Money and Power

"Sex, Money and Power: The Bible Shows You How" is the end of result of 30 years of bible study, observations of biblical principles in action, and more than a few failures experienced by the author.

--- Some excerpts.

"Noah’s Flood took place on Mars. Noah’s ark was an interplanetary aircraft (pages 32-36)"
"Almost half of the Book of Exodus describes how to construct a self-propelled flying vehicle (pages 40-41 )"
"An aircraft of some sort, sent to destroy Ninevah, gave Jonah radiation sickness (page 58)"


This website is just a goldmine of this stuff. Better yet, BUY THE BOOK and read it while enjoying your coconut milk beverage. :) Either he's a kook or a comedy-diety.

PS. If any of you thinks he's a prophet or a messiah and what he says is the truth. PLEASE email me your details and your personal webpage. I will gladly gladly gladly accomodate you in my very prestigious Crazy-as-FUCK lineup.

First place goes to... Che-che.

Who's Che-che ? Open the link (in another page) and scroll down.. it's somewhere there...

In the news

"# Former prostitute Sarah Jane Salazar, now 23, was the first to have gone public about her medical condition in the Philippines. The country's Department of Health hired her in 1995 to front its anti-Aids campaign.

She quit in September 1996 and afterwards revealed that she was involved sexually with a 16-year-old who had tested negative for HIV and was the father of her son. "

I remember Che-che. WAIT, Let me correct that... I will never forget Che-che. I find it unfortunate that the article didn't even mentioned his name.

To Me, Che-che is the horniest Filipino of our time. Sya ang pinaka.... PINAKA malibog na pilipino sa ating panahon. If I remember correctly their relationship started AFTER Sarah declared that she has HIV positive. I thought I was a horny teenager but THIS guy....he's in a class all his own.

Whatever happened to delayed gratification ? Remeber that study where they told children that if they didn't eat the first icecream they would be given another one after x number of minutes ? I bet if they had che-che as one of the kids he would've grabbed the ice cream and NOT eat it but rather stick it down his pants. He'd reason that he had eaten ice cream before but his penis haven't had/felt icecream EVER.

I wonder what would Lt. Slade say about him.

Lt. Slade :"This minnow (pauses) couldnt wait any longer.. (semi shoutingly says) he's gonna go (shouts) LOCO.. if he don't get any HOO-HAH."

I guess Che-che reached a point where masturbation was not an option anymore (Tama na, sobra na.. gusto nya tutuo na). He need's it.. in the worst possible way. An that he got... in the worst possible way.

"I want to break free ( Read: I want to get laid )
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you (Read : My right hand )
I've got to break free
God knows God knows I want to break free"

Then as fate would have it... he met Sarah Jane.

"I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love yeah
God knows God knows I've fallen in love"

Saludo ako sayo kabayan !

Was it just LUST or was it love ?

"Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom." - W.Shakespeare


Lt. Slade <-- Al Pacino character in Scent of a woman.

Congratulations to all of the people who actually took the time in reading this lengthy blog. I hope you guys come out stupider after reading it. After writing it, I know I have.


Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Google Earth

Last week, two of my colleague were discussing about some 'bakasyon' spots here in NZ, specifically natural springs. Went over and I saw them using google earth (11mb). It was almost 5 pm and I wasn't busy.

As soon as I got back to my workstation I downloaded me a copy. Initially had trouble with some network settings but I got it to work after some minor fiddling.

Now that it's up and running... where to go ?? As I entered 'Manila' in its search box the earth's image so elegantly turned to the Philippines, drilled down to Luzon. I could see Laguna bay and finally Manila. Google presented me with a 900 ft above the ground (ofcourse) view of Manila. After a couple of minutes of staring at the view I could already identify the streets and some familiar edifices.

What I didn't expect was the sudden rush of homesickness. Goddamnit... I missed Manila, I missed Quiapo. I had to fight the tears off of my eyes (talaga). And after I regained some level of composure I began to search for my 'hood'. I could've sworn that I saw 'budoy' and 'bruce lee' peddling stolen fire extinguishers pa rin.. mga tol tigilan nyo na yan !! Mas malaki ang kita ng nakaw na cellphones tol. :^P

I distinctly remember 1 year ago that I was cursing Manila. I was sick and tired of the hot and humid weather, the painful commutes and the 'get comfy with fellow passengers' MRT blues. I'd usually tell myself that If I was to get out of this 'dump', I won't be looking back.. NEVAAAH (never), and a big Adios to Quiapo/Divisoria as well.

Barely a year away and my tune have changed. I eagerly marked the ayala bridge, Legarda (Nepumoceno na ngayon), some universities in recto and the historically significant plaza Miranda.

Some recollection of my usual weekend activities... Me and my siblings mall-scapades and trips to cartimar (pasay) fish shops. Ongpin food tripping with my wife and grocery shopping with me Mum (Happy 60th bday!). I still know Manila's ins and outs.

Logic, reason and a leaking washing machine got a hold of me before I booked a flight back to my Manila.

Sabi ni konsensya: "Umuwi ka na at maglaba !"

I just got here, madaming gastusin pa at marami pang dapat na iintindihin at asikasuhin. Saka na siguro.... best not to download and install google earth at home muna.

Mahal din ang fares 1.2-1.8k NZD, Ibenta ko kaya yung isang gitara ko ? :)


Monday, June 19, 2006

Immigration blues... atbp

Mommy Sass, Baby Raya and Auntie Raya is leaving Manila today. They will be arriving here in Wellington tommorrow.

I've been getting this heavy guilty feeling... na dahil sa akin eh maraming malulungkot sa pilipinas. The lolo's and lola's who adore's their apo. My In-laws being separated from their favorite daughter. My sister-in-law/bestfriend ni Sassymoon. The first time Tito-Tita and Lolo-Lola from my side of the family. And Raya's nanny... Yaya Helen. Mommy Sass just told me that Yaya was crying more than the grannies.

I feel that I'm a selfish-selfish bastard, It's not an easy burden to carry. For the sake of one persons happiness, Dozens of family members will suffer the inevitable longing and loneliness that is to follow. I always thought that this day I would be happiest. How Ironic that the opposite is true.

I can only come up with one justification. We can either be happy together and financially uncertain or the other way around. I remember one buddhist teaching "Medicine is bitter and poison is sweet". This is how deep and proufound the buddha's teachings are. I haven't been chanting for 2 days.. I should chant later. I helps.

I still remember feeling a envious of my neighbors when their family immigrated to the US (Illegally pa yata). Kasi naman, sa Pinas kapag sinabing mag-aabroad na eh ang kadalasang karugtong eh "Wow.. buti pa sila...". Only now do I realize that immigrating has its emotinal side to it.

I still remember standing outside our balcony at night hoping to catch a cool breeze on a hot Quiapo summer, staring at the stars and wondering where I'm headed and what my future would be. If anybody told me then that in 3 years time I'd be in NZ working in one of the bigger IT companies. I wouldn't have believed you.

That time (3 yrs back), unemployed and broke, We had just set a wedding date. I was still thinking where I would get the wedding money and how soon (if ever) I would be employed again. Financial pressure day-in and day-out, dwindling savings despite the fact that I got a generous separation package from my 2nd work.

The only good thing in my life back then was that I'm good lookin.

After our wedding. I began to ask questions like "How long should we be staying with my In-laws... ". Hindi rin tama yung makikituloy ako sa bubong ng byenan ko ng matagalan. Hindi maganda tignan. I only had ONE wish back then "sana in a years time makapag sarile na kami". I got my wish.


I've been re-learning blues from ( T-Bone walker song "Stormy Monday" ) a Duke Robillard video. I should listen to happier music.


Saturday, June 03, 2006


I wish i can be as charming as Ethan Hawke in the movie "Before sunrise".

In preparation for the long weekend (Queen's Birthday) I got some weekly DVD rentals and this movie was one of em. In a nutshell, its about 2 strangers meeting on a train and spent 24 hours together. Doing what ? just walking around and talking. It's not like the pissy pseudo intellectual conversations that you see in dawson's creek. Who the hell talks like that anyways ;).

I now have 2 favorite romance movie, the other one would be "Forget paris" by Billy Crystal.

I could never be charming as ME. I could never be myself (literally) when i'm trying to impress women. You see, I can 'do' characters.

In my high school days I was able to accurately capture the voice, tone and phrasing legendary disciplinarian in our school (Sia sien) I can bring the decibel levels of 2 HS rooms in less than 5 seconds flat. Works every single time. :)

When I'm the new guy at work I do the radio DJ ex TV host 'Joe d' Mango' usually does the trick. It's a great icebreaker.

Some of the people that I do: Jaworski, Ahnold Schwarzenegger, Ferdinand Marcos Sr, Mike Enriquez...... sometimes i freak myself out.

A decade back I realized that I've using humor as a tool. I use it to gauge a persons intellect and Humor tolerance. Weirdly I do it 10 seconds after I meet somebody. If you were to ask ppl what were their first impression of me you'd get different answers from outrageously funny to A-hole. Their answers reflect their uptightness as well.

Have you heard of basketball players talking about 'the zone' ? I get it as well... if i'm in the zone or freeballing I can have a whole roomfull of people eat off of my hand. My college years would've made a great DVD. As with anything else my humor has its limitations. It does not reflect on my writing.. that explains my dull blog :).

I do have one special 'act' or character that I do to women that I'm attracted to. It's my secret weapon. Its my ace. It's Mr. Al Pacino. To my female friends reading this, If you haven't seen me do Al Pacino then you know that i'm not interested in anybody within a 2 meter radius. I remember a couple of years back, in one of my dates. I was kinda having the in-the-zone moments with this hot date of mine. I think we had paella with ostrich meat, anyways midway during dinner I pulled out my 'Devil's Advocate/Scent of a woman" act. Totally sealed the deal. Got hitched 2 years after :)


Wednesday, April 26, 2006


I admit it. I am lonely... I have for the longest time been convincing myself that being autonomous was what I needed. All my life I've always had people around me.

My subconcious self have been whispering this phrase for the longest time... "Wouldn't it be nice to be alone for a while... escape from it all. Not think about anybody's welfare, just my own (or us, I do have several "associative" personalities)."

I thought that this is what I wanted.... partially true, I do want to be alone at times. Here in Wellington I have been just that, 5 1/2 months and running.

Again, I find myself fighting off depression. It IS me to get depressed at times. This time, it got to a point where I DON'T want to do anything... I find myself paralyzed. When I get home from work I just want to pop-in some DVD rentals and hope that it shakes off the voidness that I feel. It does just that at least for for an hour and a half. It's a bargain ! an hour and a half less lonely for $2. Finished with the "Comedy" and "Action" section, I am now on the "thriller" section of the video store.

"Like as, to make our appetite more keen,
With eager compounds we our palate urge;
As, to prevent our maladies unseen,
We sicken to shun sickness when we purge;"

- Sonnet 118 Shakespeare

Buddhist teachings does not deny that material things brings about momentary happiness. Hence I bought me-self a big guitar amplifier (Fender princeton chorus 2x10 inch speakers). "Study chord substitutions !! We wants to be a jazzer remember ? we wants it. (Gnaws on raw fish)".

I thought that would do the trick. I should've know better.... don't work on the symptom, work on the cause... Identify the root!


I miss my wife. Period.

Just that. The longing, the memory of her warm embraces, her encouraging and reassuring smile. The invisible strength of her presence. I miss the resolution that I finish my day in her arms. The gentle palm squeeze she gives me before sleeping. Small things really, small things that matters to me.


Monday, April 10, 2006

To kid or Not to kid.

The title should be "To have kid/s or not to have kid/s" but I reckon it’s too long and it doesn’t have a Jimmy-Santos ring to it. :)

Three years ago (Pre-wedding), me and Ms. (then) Sass were talking about whether or not we should have kid/s. This is because her super-uber-bestfriend (hi!) point of view of not having any. She being both smart and intelligent have a strong influence on the wifey (reads US).

Her reasons were:

1. With no kids there would obviously be less stress,

2. Quality time as a couple

3. better financial advantage, the two of them would be able to earn or work full time

4. Because of #3 they would be able to afford whatever they fancy be it : travel, bitchin ride (car)…

I consulted with my Mom as well. She said “It’s OK not to have kids… I would understand. But you see after a while it gets boring… “

My opinion, is that the mentioned reasons holds better validity “in” the pinas.

A couple will definitely find themselves in 3 scenarios: 2 individual’s successful in their respective business/profession, Only 1 would be successful, or both would be struggling.

Let’s assume that a couple are successful individuals in the Pinas.

With kids in the Pinas

If we were to assume that a couple were both professionals their take home pay (after tax) less rent and other necessities. A HUGE portion of their “net” income would definitely be allocated under tuition fee’s.

Besides the cost, another factor would be the varying quality of education and the opportunity that it presents. After graduation/Job hunting you actually begin to realize the (dis)advantage of the perceived University ‘prestige’ by the outside world. Companies more-often-than-not prefers graduates from the Top 4 universities (5 if you include Mapua).

Without kids in the Pinas

Owning a house is possible. Getting a car, definitely. Financial mobility in one form or another.

OUTSIDE the pinas

I will be using New Zealand as basis of “outside” the pinas. I reckon (naks kiwing-kiwi), the reasons for not having kids (not to kid) :) as mentioned above would have a lesser impact both lifestyle/financial-wise.

Cost of living

NZ, depending on your income bracket/number of kids, aides you financially.



Basically, the lower your income and the more kids that you have the more that you will get from the govt. Sure it might not be much but it would be ENOUGH. Even if you find yourself Jobless you still get govt aide and you would definitely be able to feed and put a roof over your love ones head.


Cost of education is almost negligible. Your kid/s will have the same or comparable education with higher income families.

Your kid/s success is independent of the parents.

Simple as that statement may sound but the implications are monstrous- monstrous. Personally, that’s one pressure I can live without.

If your kid decides to go to “University” he/she can arrange to borrow from the government and pay it back when he/she is working. It teaches them accountability early on as well.

In the pinas, I see kids (well off or not) goof-around and waste tuition money. Simply because parents paid for education and unaware on how difficult it is earning money. There probably will be computer science students having the ‘latest’ cellphones but not have computers at home. Talk about priority. :) Una porma saka na yung iba.

Another thing worth noting is having a NZ University degree is recognized in all commonwealth countries. That means a broader opportunity and a definite global advantage. Being a skilled migrant and educated in the pinas, I feel that we need to considerably “bring” more, for them to consider us as equals.


I’m not saying that the choice of not having a kid is “wrong”. It does have it’s merit and definitely some strong points. It’s just that for us, having raya was the “right” choice.

My wife has been sending me videos of My parents playing with raya. I’ve seen how happy my mom was playing with her first apo… how can I quantify that ? :)

Seeing my baby being able to turn on her own is priceless as well… I was shouting in my room when I saw the video.

They say the worst part of having a kid is in the first 3 months of birth. I’ve been with my Raya for the first 2.5 and frankly I cherished those moments. Waking up 1-3am, cleaning poopster/heating mommies milk and afterwards humming so she’d go back to sleep.


Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Parallel Universe

Do you remember the superman cartoons ? remember bizzaro ? The chiseled faced superman who lives in the parallel universe (Htrae) where everybody are distorted copies of Clark kent and Lois lane. Yung merong baligtad na “S” sa dibdib. Instead of being vulnerable green kryptonite they are weak around blue krypton matters.


I feel like I'm in a parallel universe here in wellington. Maraming bagay na sa aking palagay ay baligtad ang dating. Let me break it down:

In the Philippines the pecking order is as follows :

Politicians - We, the taxable people of the republic, have been sustaining the incredible/excessive lifestyles of our politician. Wala tayong laban bago dumating ang sweldo sa ating mga kamay eh awas na.

Businessmen - People who have the smarts at the right time. People who know people in government.

IT people - They make good money pero parang kulang pa rin.

Nurses they make slightly higher than minimum wage

Government EmployeesProbably slightly lower than nurses.

Mekaniko - Grease monkeys.... ang pangtanggal nila ng grasa eh 1 litrong gas. Pang hilom ng maliliit na sugat eh brake fluid. I've worked for my uncles auto supply in banawe and my sugat's have been properly treated with STP.

Tubero - Guys who sit and wait in the ongpin bridge hoping that somebody's shit/turd is hard enough to clog the damn toilet. If its a lucky day then they earn at most Php 150/day. (Tirso Cruz “the Turd” matinee idol ng bayan)

Culture and Lifestyle sa pinas: People in general prefer to buy brand new cars. We only see japanese cars Toyota, Nissan, Mistubishi and Honda's. We like to celebrate Christmas, Valentines (Balentayms). Fiesta's here fiesta's there. Madami sa atin ang merong maid buhay senorito at senorita merong taga laba at plantsa, taga luto, hugas at ligpit ng pinagkainan. Afford din natin ang full time Yaya's.

In wellington, the pecking order is :

Top Govt post Sure they make good money... tama lang siguro para hindi ma prone sa corruption.

Tubero They charge 65nzd/hour.

Mekaniko They charge around 50/hr.

Nurses I've several nurse friends here. Sila yung bumubuhay sa asawa nilang Doctor.

IT They make approx. NZD 55k ++ annually compute mo per hour talo pa sa tubero.

Dito 2nd hand cars naman ang patok particularly the japanese/european imports. Citroen, Peugeot, Subaru, Saab, Alfa Romeo's, BMW's , Audi and Holden's. Nakakahilo nagmistulan akong taong bundok na ngayon lang nakakita nang ganung mga auto. Some Japanese model cars are unheard of din sa pinas Nissan Camino, skylines. Toyota Cavalier. Honda Legacy. Dito yung mga WRX engines ang pinag uusapan sa pinas 4BA1, 4DR1 Yung mga makina ng jeep mostly Isuzu's.

Back in the pinas it would probably take me 2-3 more years before I can save up for a decent 2nd hand car. It took me 3 months here, hopefully its decent. It's my first car btw.

Sa Pinas kung mag electric fan tayo dala-dalawa kapag hindi kaya ang init eh magbubuks ng aircon. Dito oil heaters ang binubuksan paano kasi ang ang temperature sa bahay eh parang centralized aircon na nasira yung “OFF” button.

DSL connections are considered as a luxury sa pinas (atleast sa family namin ) mostly dial up lang masaya na. Dito majority uses broadband some use dial-up access pa rin.


I attended our tuesday buddhist meeting last February 14 and was assigned to do 'door duty'. Ofcourse being pinoy I've greeted the bodhisattva's a warm “Happy Valentines” on their way inside the centre (naks kiwi spelling). Most of them blushed lang when I greeted them, some even forgot that it was 214. I was surprised when a islander (maori,samoan,fiji ?) girl ran up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek (promise sa cheek lang!). That was my first kiss sa NZ, First kiss sa 2006.


Sunday, January 29, 2006

The path to Manhood

My NZ experience has been a character defining experience so far. I've always wondered what it would be like living 'alone'. Having spent 28 years under momma's roof and 1 year under my in-laws roof, I should be ready. Growing up in a 2 bedroom apartment I never really had much personal time and space. It is the first time ever for me to truly have a PERSONAL pc ( Dell laptop).

I've always felt like a kid back in the philippines having people do things for me. I always had my parents and recently my wife to help me decide on things. I've grown dependent on their inputs that it had impaired my evaluation skills. The root cause of my pre-wedding jitters was probably due to the fact I still feel like i'm a kid, not man-enough to start a family of my own.

Being autonomous in NZ exposed my weaknesses on different areas. I am now slowly working on them, one weakness at a time. I can now cook edible(?) food, Wash and Iron my own clothes. I've learned to take care of myself, because if I don't... nobody would.

Absolute freedom. No social obligation/s to dictate how your day will be spent. I enjoy my weekend mini-adventures to wherever-my-bus-pass will take me. I enjoy my weekly where-will-these-2-malaysian-officemates-take-me-for-lunch-this-time food trips.

I enjoy my new found youth as well... let me explain back in the philippines people assume that i'm in my mid-30s or sometime in my 40's. Here in welly people ask me if i'm over 25 and if I have driven before. Ika-nga ng sikyu ng university namin dati eh... “Batam-bata... sariwa.”.

I have never experienced this much personal growth in such a short time. It's not easy as sometimes it does get painfully exhausting. Longing for my baby and specially my wife. Missing my parents my siblings and my “yaya” as well. Loneliness, it is the reason why I wake up with heartache 7 days a week.

Hopefully by the time that my family joins me here in welly I would have completed my transformation from being a big kid to becoming "da Man”.


Friday, January 13, 2006

Kitchen Prodigy

Today marks my 2nd month stay in NZ ! Time flies indeed. I spent my first christmas and new year, outside the pinas, here in wellington. We've been getting nice weather here..6 out of 7 days a week... ganito pala ang summertime dito ! Parang baguio pero malamig pa ng kaunti !

I'm proud to say than in my 2 months stay here, I have always prepared my own breakfast and lunch. I started making sandwiches before going to work initially, did it for 2 weeks... lost a lot of weight !! I'm not a sandwich/bread type of person, even in manila i preferred rice+ulam for breakfast.

The main reason for preparing my own food is its really cheaper to bring-your-own-baon. Lunch or Dinner will cost you 7-10 nzd ,burger joints being the cheapest. Other sandwiches can be 3-4 nzd but the serving/volume is ideal for breakfast only. So In a day you could spend like 25 nzd x 7 days = 175 nzd/week.

Then I figured, since I'd be frying the cold cuts why not fry pork/chicken/lamb/beef instead ? On the start of my 3rd week, I bought some pre marinated lamb shoulder chops. Not a bad start.

The art of frying

On the 4th week I tried chicken. My mother taught me: High heat for fish so the skin will not stick to the kawali (non teflon) and low to medium heat for chicken so the inside will cook and the outerpart doesn't overcook.I got the chicken frying thing figured out on the 4th day.... Days 1,2 &3 the inisdes were slightly raw. Good thing there is microwave in my office.

The Adobo incident

Prior to coming to welly, my wife was insistent that I bring some pinoy recipe books to NZ. She said, it will be one of the few things that will remind me of home. She was right.

Having 4 weeks of solid kitchen experience under my belt I decided that its time for me to actually cook. Adobo sounded easy enough, browsed through the book and found the recipe on page 1.

Ingredients were readily available (dahon ng laurel= bay leaves ). Went shopping the following day to look for Vinegar. Bought this australian made vinegar and soy sauce ('Basic' brand), pork and some chicken. Easy-peasy-Japaneasy !

Started cooking, 30 mins into it and everything looked right and smelled right. Come tasting time something wasn't quite right. Hmmmm.... Is it me or does my adobo taste like battery fluid ??

To be certain, I asked my ex-cop flatmate (Manila's Finest) to taste my adobo. One look at my flatmate and you can tell that he's a tough guy. You can actually tell from his expression that his tastebuds were violated as he politely tried not to spit out my adobo.

I asked him.. "Adobo-con-motolite ba ?" he nodded, went away and didnt speak to me for the rest of the night. I was right ! Battery fluid like indeed. Torture grade recipe... Hitler would've been proud. I wonder if i can sell my recipe to the CIA, NBI.

Cooking 911

Fortunately, My other flatmate remedied my adobo and it actually became edible.

Stubborn, I bought another batch of chicken and cooked adobo again.. slightly altering my ingredients I bought Asian Vinegar and Soy sauce this time. Success was inevitable it Looked right, smelled right and tasted right.

Having a high cooking morale I decided to do something else. My beef mechado I got it right on the first try. I've been having mechado for two days already and that will be my breakfast tomorrow.


Sunday, December 25, 2005


The Quiapo Diet

Ever wonder why people from Quiapo are generally thinner. They look and act distinctly different as well. They have a different aura from the rest of the Manileno's. And a different outlook in life as well. It is not difficult to see that they have low bodyfat levels simply because most of the males in Quiapo has their shirts off.

I will share with you the secrets to their diets, lifestyle and choice of exercise activities.

Most, if not all of the diets advocates change in the following areas:

**Choice and Volume of food intake
**Lifestyle change
**Promotes Exercise
**Suggests vitamin supplementations

The Quiapo diet is similar and yet different from most of the mainstream diets like South beach, Atkins and Protein power. Most of the diets mentioned lets you go through a low carb Induction phase. This is because our body is geared towards burning carbohydrates for energy as opposed to using bodyfat.

The Induction phase also aims to increase your insulin sensitivity via carb intake control and introducing exercise to your daily routine. You will lose excess water and salts from your body at this stage. Lethargic feelings that go with this phase is due to the fact that when we excrete excess salts we lose both good and bad salts. Potassium supplementations are suggested.

After briefly highlighting the similarities with other diets. We will start with things that distinctly belongs to "The Quiapo Diet".

The Diet.

The diet consists of the following:

3 pieces of pandesal

Lunch and Dinner
3-5 cups of Rice
1 Fish
1 Cup of soup ( Any soup will do )

I bet most of you will be already be shaking your head, and some of you shocked to see the volume of food intake per meal required by this Diet. I strongly encourage you to read on and find out how this diet would work.

The Diet works because the meal is actually shared by a family of 4-6 individuals. Usually the parents plus 2-3 kids.

The Lifestyle

Most of us are accustomed to sleeping in beds with soft or semi soft matresses. Sleeping inside rooms ventilated by airconditioners and/or electric fans. The Quiapo diet encourages you to sleep on street pavements. People tend to burn more calories/eat less during times of discomfort.


Jogging burns more calorie than walking. Running burns more than Jogging.

Sure you can run to get fit. But there is a more exciting activity than running. It's called snatching ! Go ahead take the necklace of the person beside you and start running. People will be after you in no time so rest at your own risk !

It's the only Diet that has a 3 prong approach ! Reduce caloric intake, Increase resting metabolic rate through discomfort and INTENSE excercise.

Start doing the Quiapo diet now and start losing weight immediately !

I hope nobody gets offended, i just have too much holiday time kasi. :)

My Version of the Quiapo Diet is "Fine Dining" na pala... check out the link below to find out the 'economy' version of the QD!


Sunday, November 27, 2005

Who do I miss the most ?

It has been a groundbreaking and lonely 2 weeks for me. I am now more or less familiar with the technology/tools that my job entails.

I have for the past 2 weeks been wonderin why of all the people I have left back home SHE is the one I miss the most.

Let's start with the runner ups:

I should be missing my Mother the most for I have known her the longest. I, (ehem) for good reasons, am her favorite. I am closest to her. And of us 3, I resemble her the most. Unfortunately Ma, your first runner up.

Second runner up would be my first girlfriend. Sa lahat ng mga naging GF ko sya yung pinaka Maganda, Seksi, Matalino at pinaka yummy. She's my wife (Sorry your 2nd runner up luv).

We have been married for 1 year and 1 month and 3 days as of this blog. Marrying her is the best decision I've made to date.

As Jose Marie Chan'ish the following lines may sound, I'd still would like her to know that:

She's my Lover
She's my woman
She's my best friend
She's my preferred seatmate on Flights PR730, PR731 and sana NZ439.
She's my permanent female bedspacer (People, It doesnt get any more "Quiapo love" than this!)

Fourth place would be my gymmate (at home), my buddy and my good friend. And OH !! HAPPY BIRTH DAY Baby BROTHER !!

I consider myself as one of the funniest guys in the pinas. Its very difficult to make me laugh, one would usually get a smile from me at most. Keng is the only one who could really make me laugh.

His High School life itself is worthy of a Movie and a sequel.

Fifth place would be my Sister, She has been my preffered sparring partner talaga. Keep those punches coming !

But careful the eyes mahal ang magpa-Laser. Remember the time when you made an alkansya of my acoustic guitar ?? hahahhaa LEGENDARY story amongst my college batchmates !

Was my playing really that bad ? You probably still wonder why Ma tolerated 2 electric guitars and hours, days and years of BAD BAD BLUES playing. I'm the BADDEST blues cat in Quiapo!

Daddy-o, Take care of your body and take care of yourself. Passive as you love may seem, we know that you love us and WE love you!! And you APO loves you.

And the Winner is no other than my baby baby girl Raya !

Of all people, You.. I have spent the shortest time with. Two and a half months lang. And yet of all people na kausap ko sa phone, 1 minute with you and I find myself in tears. (Why does my flatmates keep on playing Martin Nievera CD's whenever I'm blogging or on the phone ?? Bwisit ka Martin ! baka mapanuod mo ako ng concert mo kapag ma bisita ako ng Pinas. Mental note: bring tissue)

I just found out why (while finishing up on my laundry).

Through you, I have experience the miracle of Life and the miracle that is life. You are the physical manifestation of the ever growing love of Me and your Mommy have for each other.

Watching you grow marks a moment in me and you mommy's time. You are the calendar and the clock the reminds me of how precious time is. You remind me that peole should celebrate and enjoy life with love ones.

And for that, I thank you. I love you. And I adore you.


Friday, November 18, 2005

Unang lingo sa labas ng Asya

Wow-o-wow... My first week here at Wellington was like an emotional roller coaster.

Landed at wellington at sunday pm sinalubong ako ng magasawang D and C. Nice couple D is a pretty pinay and C was like a young Robert De Niro on his Deer hunter days (co star Cristopher Walken).

Sunday night was really painful for me. Sanay akong katabi ang aking sanggol at ang aking mahal. Probably cried for 2 hrs before going to sleep.

Monday morning sumabay ako papasok sa kanila they played a Martin Nievera CD.
Una naisip ko ang pinas...
naisip ko magulang ko at mga kapatid..
naisip ko si Mahal ( artista pa kaya sya ng channel 2 )...
naisip ko si misis ko.
Nakuha kong pigilin ang luha ko...

pero nung naisip ko ang aking sanggol eh biglang nanginig ang panga ko at paiyak na ako. Teka teka.. dyahe baka akalain nilang meron akong psychological imbalance. Pigil ng kaunti. TANGINA ka martin pinapaiyak mo ako ah.... hindi ako si Pops !! tigilan mo ako... leche !

Tuesday was better... naaliw na ako sa mga tanawin. Kung napapunta na kayo sa enchanted kingdom yung part na merong streets na parang pang US. Eh ganun na ganun. Kaso maraming kalapati.

Wednesday, mejo nagiikot na ako went to customhouse quay civic center ata... lovely place. A tad windy but really nice.

Thursday, went back to the same place during lunch time. Merong dumaang sasakyan na makintab. Nakita ko sarile ko sa kotse.... i look like one of those pinoys na nasa abroad na balut na balut ang pananamit. Hahahahha.... funny perspective.

Friday. 4:30 palang eh nagsi-uwian na ang mga loko... but we had some beer ng 4pm.

Ang layo ng mga kiwi kumpara sa mga amo kong dutch. Ang mga kiwi lahat sinasabing mag relaks lang ako. I bet kung yung dati kong boss na si kulot (patandain mo lang yung mukha ng bata sa alaska milk) eh paglalabahin pa ako.

Nuong nasa pinas ako eh kapag 5:30pm ang uwi ko eh masama na ang tingin ng team mates ko sa akin. Dito umuwi ako ng 5:40 eh ako na ang huling tao sa office.

This is the country for me! I like their working ethics !


Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Eto na at kakaba-kaba

Samutsari na ang aking nararamdaman ngayon. Masaya, malungkot, excited na hinde, takot at kaba. Nakatanggap na kasi ako ng liham (email) mula sa NZ Embassy makati. Ang sabi sa liham ay malapit na raw mailabas ang aking work visa at kelangan ko lang daw maglabas ng booking certificate na nagpapatunay na meron na akong plane ticket patungong Wellington.

Professional anxiety:

Sapat na ba ang aking kaalamang teknikal ? Gaano kagaling ang mga bumbay (Indian) at puti kumpara sa gwapong kayumanggi na kagaya ko ? Sa ganitong industria (IT kompyuter) eh di sapat ang lakas ng loob at sipag. Kelangan din ng malalim lalim na karunungang teknikal at diskarte.

Personal anxiety:

Dahil hindi naman kalakihan ang apartment na aming nire-rentahan eh kami, bilang isang pamilya, ay naging malapit kami sa isa't isa. (Pwede pala ang prepositional phrase sa tagalog)

Inay at Itay :

Sana'y maalagaan kayo ng mabuti ng dalawa kong kapatid. Kung dati ay ang aking mga magulang ang naging takbuhan ko sa aking mga problema, ngayon naman ako na ang tinatakbuhan nila.

Dati sila ang aking pader, ngayon naman ako ang inaasahan nilang sandalan.

Sister and brother :

Baka sa email ko na lang kayo mapayuhan ng inyong mga problema. Yung nakakabatang kong lalaking kapatid lang ang tanging nakakapagpa-halakhak sa akin magpasa-hanggang ngayon. Sa aking nakakabatang babae, Hindi kami ganun ka close dati, nagiba ang lahat nang ako'y nakisilong na sa aking mga biyenan.

Sa aking Sanggol :

Hindi ko inakala na ang isang maliit na nilalang na kagaya mo ay makakapagbigay sa akin nang labis na kaligayahan. Dahil sayo hindi ko na napapansin ang traffic, init sa loob ng fx, amoy ng katabi ko sa fx. Biglang naging maganda ang mundo ko dahil sa yo.

Ika-nga ng toothpaste commercial eh.. "ang mundo ko... kumukutitap".

Sa aking pinakaminamahal :

huwag ka sanang malungkot,

Wag kang makikining ng Freddie Aguilar

Kamusta ka aking mahal
sana'y nasa mabuti ka
ako'y wag mong intindihin
nakakaraos din

Panaginip ko'y laging ikaw... sinta...
Mahal.. kamusta kaaa...

Ayos! tamang karaoke.

Natatandaan mo kung abril nang tayo'y magbakasyon sa kota kinabalu. Ang ating napagplanuhan ng long term ay ang tayo'y maninirahan sa ibang bansa. Eto yung gusto natin hindi ba ? yung hindi na natin pro-problemahin kung saan kukunin ang pangmatrikula ng ating anak.

Seguridad, seguridad at seguridad para sa ating dalawa kapag tayo'y me edad na. Habang bata pa at kaya pa ng katawan. KAYOD!

Naalala mo yung text ko sayo dating nanliligaw pa ako sayo ? "Each second that passes is like a needle pulled out of my heart. For I know that I will be with you soon." Walang nag-aakala na napaka-kesong (Cheesy) tao ako nun.

Mahal kita.


Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Pride and Joy

Good gosh !! I've turned into one of em picture-showing-parent type of person. I seem to have develop a habit of showing my baby Raya's picture to whoever passes my place.

When I was still single, I couldn't get why people would show their baby's pic around to people who are clearly not interested. Out of politeness people would give comments like 'Ay ang cute..' some would even ask "meron pa bang ibang pic ?".

I'm addicted !! Whenever I queue up for the commute home, I would open up my cell and browse through Raya's pic. :) She's beautiful ! She looks like her mommy. I love mommy Raya. I love them both. I always have one browser window with Raya's picture. I've even memorized one Nat king cole song... L is for the way you look at me... :)

The next song on my list:

Isn't she lovely
by Stevie Wonder

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love

Who would've thought that somebody so tiny could give me soooo much joy and at the same time deprive me of so much sleep. :) My mother... Grandma Raya totally adores her first apo. If I remember correctly Ma never showed that much affection to me or to any of my siblings. Gulpe sarado pa kami ! Now I see what they mean sa term na "Spoiled ng Lolo at Lola".

Our life now centers around our baby. I've never seen my Wife to ever being totally dedicated to something/anything. Now, She wakes up 3am in the morning just to collect collostrum for Raya.

Tama na to.. naiiyak na ako.


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Turning Trenta

They say "life begins at 40", it is the time when you are supposed to be financially established, acquired some properties , possibly have some bonds/stock shares tucked away. It is the age where you can mostly buy whatever nifty gadget that you might fancy. Spontaneously decide that you want to vacation in the resort/country that was advertised moments ago in the channel that you were watching.

Life is indeed good, no make that Great !

I think the very same statement applies pressure to people in their 30's or late 20's. The 30's is the make-or-break age group. This is the time when you should be cashing-in on your skills. Or have the necessary "smarts" to know how to invest your money or already pinpointed which business to invest in.

I'm turning 30 this december, that means I only have 10-12 years time to achieve some of the things mentioned in the first paragraph.

Is that a realistic timeline for me ?
Am I in the right field ?
Does the market appreciate my skills ?
Greener pasture ? Where ? Where ?

I'm going to be a daddy soon. More pressure. I need to do it right. So many people depending on me.

Reflecting on some of the points that i've read in Dr. Scott Peck's MD book (Road less travelled). Life is Difficult. The earlier you can come to terms with this fact means the earlier your life would seem easier.


Thirty years old... mag tre-trenta anyos na ako. Looking 5-7 years older than my actual age doesn't help one bit. In 3 years time maybe I can develop my own distinct DOM'ish flair. Call me Daddy-O by then. I'll be popular inside beerhouses though, coz I look absolutely papa-ble to the chikedees.

Uso pa ba ang pomada ? syempre kelangang groovy si daddy-o. Eh yung pabangong amoy floorwax ( meron ba nun? ) ? saan ba nakakabili nun ?


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Milestones, Jitters, Mental Baggages and Retooling

I've finished all the exams required for my IT certification. I just need to take a required Hands-on course with Oracle to cement my certification status. I'm eyeing the Real Application Clusters class which according to them will be available around September.

Four exams taken in a span of exactly four months. I know a peer who's still reviewing for the first exam, its his 4th month and counting (Good luck!). That meant NO TV, NO Guitars and the discipline of exerting effort not to add on life's distractions.

I can now watch TV without the guilty 'I-should-be-reviewing' feeling. I am now re-establishing my old couch potato patterns starting with the show called 'Insomniac by Dave Attell' (Jack TV) .


I will be a daddy in the coming month. I think my baby Raya is a natural swimmer, she's been doing some tumble-turns inside her mommy's belly. :) My Wifey has been asking me to give her lower back (Spinal Erector area) some massages. I hope i did good.

I've been getting jitters similar to the ones i got before my wedding. Although not as intense as the pre-wedding jitters, it has the same diuretic effect on my system. Adult diapers here i come ! Sitting on my own pee has its own charm.

Mental Baggages:

4 Questions that I constantly ask myself are:
1. Are we financially capable to support a kid ?
2. Did I mess up two of my interviews ?
3. Did I mess up two of my interviews ?
4. Did I mess up two of my interviews ?


I am now in my re-tooling phase. I've been reading up on some materials to beef-up my skill sets.

Bakit kasi hindi na lang ako ipinanganak na gwapo eh... eh di sana wala nang problema.

Ika nga ni Bong Revilla jr. eh "Isang kindat, isang ngiti at isang suntok lang kumikita na ako".


Thursday, June 30, 2005

Anak-ng-PUTIK !

Nung isang araw eh nagpapa-lipat-lipat ako ng channel naghahanap ng mapapanood. Nang bigla akong natigilan sa nakita ko sa Cinema One. Totoo ba ang mga imaheng tumatambad sa aking mga mata ? Dininig na pala ang isa sa panalangin ko ! Anak-ng-PUTIK ! Bakit wala man lang nagsabi sa akin na nagsama na sila sa isang pelikula !

Si Ina Raymundo at si Shirley Fuentes. Anong tema ng palabas kamo ?? BIKINI WATCH.

Hesusmaryosep !!

Ganito kasi yun. Ako'y me hinahanap na katangian sa mukha ng isang babae. Ako ay lubos na nabibighani sa mga mukhang 1. Ubod ng maamo O yung mga 2. Mejo Mataray-taray ang dating. Gusto ko lang linawin na mataray ang dating at hindi mala Bella Flores o Odette Khan!

Si Ginang Ina Raymundo ay me maamong mukha na me katiting na anghang. Hindi ko naman sya napapansin ng gaano nuong mga panahong patok pa ang "Sabado Nights". Pero nagiba ang timpla at klima ng aking katawan nang napanuod ko ang palabas nyang "Burlesk Queen". Nagiba na ang pananaw ko simula nuon.

Si Shirley Fuentes naman. Tisay at mataray taray ang dating... kakaibang timpla.. nakakagigil. Parati kong inaabangan ang mga biernes na mapapanuod ko sya sa Bubble gang. TGIF indeed.

Bukod sa dalawang ginang na nabanggit ko eh dinagdagan pa nila ng ilang mga babaeng dayuhan. Aba kumpletos rekados na ! They even threw in something to please the colonial yearnings of the pinoys. How thoughtful indeed !

Datapwat ako'y lubos na nalilibang sa palatuntunan ng mga panahong iyon eh merong mga napanood akong mga eksena na lubos na bumabagabag sa aking pagkatao. Tiniis ko ang mga kabulastugan at kakenkoyan ni Andrew E., Raffy Rodriguez (Kapatid ni Ruby), Ismokey Manoloto.

Ang hindi ko matiis eh nung tinanggal ni Andrew E. ang bathrobe nya at suot suot nya ang 2 piece bathing suit. Nakupo !! nuong pagtalikod nya eh Thong bikini pala !

Hesusmaryosep !!

Hindi pa rin ako mapakale.

Ang tanong na lumulutang lutang sa aking isipan ngayon eh kung nagtambal din ba sa Pinilakang tabing sina Francine Prieto at Michelle Bayle ??